Once you win … here’s how to teach your kids emotional intelligence – Moroccan depth

A number of people are busy learning about social intelligence and how to take advantage of it to make life easier and happier. Various contents about the principles of this type of intelligence and its various arts are distributed on social networks, where training courses and activities and publications on its topic are announced.

However, the interest in the subject of social intelligence and how to take advantage of it should not distract us from a more important issue, which is how to pass this social intelligence on to our children after acquiring it, especially since it is not taught in schools. , which places the responsibility of her education on the family and especially the parents.

Investing in the legacy of social intelligence in children is a vital issue that allows its principles and behaviors to be ingrained in the hearts and minds of young people with great ease and flexibility.

What is emotional intelligence? And what is its significance? How can it be transmitted to children?

According to Al Jazeera Net, emotional intelligence is evident in daily life through the expression of emotional feelings and the degree to which we are able to restrain the extent of our emotions during their reflection between anger and joy until we reach a stage where we possess it. balance, to guide us to control it and manage our emotions with adaptation and adaptation and how fast it is, according to what there are new problems around us to achieve a kind of receptive flexibility with those with whom we communicate.

According to the same source, experts confirm the possibility of developing emotional intelligence, following the events of online dialogue or live representation, imitation and simulation of people who are considered emotionally intelligent. For example, participating in large gatherings in which some adults discuss social issues, in which we can monitor how they communicate and how they present arguments and evidence wisely at the hearing and dismiss others during the comment and constructive intervention of what they have in mind away. by provoking conflict.

Development of emotional intelligence

It is necessary to develop hearing, sight and body language skills to complement the strength of the individual’s emotional intelligence, as well as to maintain self-confidence, balance, moderation and not deviate from the topic of the session, taking care to maintain the feelings of others in parallel with the consistency of mental alertness present as much as possible, and calculating the degree of ability to focus for the longest time possible without getting upset and frustrated.

Experts emphasize the possibility of teaching children through drama, acting and real participation in discussion panels, to learn the positive management of their emotional intelligence and the results they like, according to their age, as the life of a child with an experience and for to speak. it shows in front of others the degree to which he possesses personal qualities that develop his emotional intelligence by standing up or throwing and pulling him to participate.

The Relationship between Emotional Intelligence and Scientific Intelligence

To further expand the concept of emotional intelligence and the possibility of learning and teaching it to children, Al Jazeera Net interviewed psychiatrist and clinical doctoral consultant Dr. Amjad Al-Jumayan, who said, “There has been a lot of talk lately about emotional intelligence, and its connection to scientific or academic intelligence, and there is a lot of talk about the role of emotional intelligence in success in professional and practical life. what is emotional intelligence?

Both add, “Emotional intelligence is defined as a person’s ability to understand and manage his or her emotions and feelings and to deal with the feelings of others. There is no test to measure emotional intelligence, like the one used to measure intelligence; “Emotional intelligence is therefore a description of interpersonal skills, through daily interactions with people and observing their behavior if we are to value it.”

Both show that to achieve this we need the following basic elements; A person’s ability to appreciate and control his or her true feelings and emotions, and to have the ability to control negative feelings through experiences and methods gained to get rid of or alleviate those feelings such as anger and anxiety.

The most important thing is that we have the ability to understand and assimilate the feelings of others, and the efficiency of emotional intelligence is increased by positive feedback, and the person is inclined to develop this ability in order to succeed in his professional life. and social. , explaining, “Understanding personal feelings, understanding and assimilating the other, making concessions and gaining the ability to cope with negative emotions.” , they both say.

Signs of high emotional intelligence

They both cite the most important signs of high emotional intelligence, which are “accepting mistakes, taking responsibility, learning from mistakes, accepting criticism, listening well and making eye contact with others when speaking, which reflects self-confidence, respect for the feelings of others. , humility and upholding principles and values, regardless of changing circumstances or temptations. ”

He believes that the acquisition of these skills has significant positive consequences on mental and physical health and social relationships, according to both counselors, and the most important thing is a sense of confidence and self-satisfaction.

Is emotional intelligence learned or genetic?

They both say: “The common question these days is, how do children acquire this kind of intelligence? “What is the difference between emotional intelligence and deceptive methods of achieving a goal?”

  • Emotional intelligence is acquired, not genetic and is not taught in schools.
  • The child is a reflection of the behavior of the parents, in other words we are an example to our children.
  • Emotional intelligence is a way of life, and unfortunately most of us have grown up in schools where only an intelligent child gets the highest grades
  • We are not yet accustomed to the culture of understanding the other, accepting criticism and accepting mistakes.
  • We are not yet accustomed to the culture of good listening and the importance of eye contact when speaking.

Unfortunately, and because of young people rushing for positions and material, we no longer distinguish between emotional intelligence and cunning methods to achieve the goal, and here lies the danger, as many see that the reason for reaching the position or material gain is emotional. the resulting intelligence and social ability, and the reality of the issue Otherwise. According to the advisor.

Recommendations for teaching children emotional intelligence

The counselor tells both that the home is the first school for the acquisition of emotional intelligence and that “the child is the mirror of his parents’ behavior and they are the real mirror for us as educators, just as the child assumes that what the parents do is right or right. ”

Below are the recommendations made by the consultant, Dr. Al-Jumaylan, how to teach children emotional intelligence, which are:

  • Teach your children the culture of admitting mistakes and taking responsibility, not holding others accountable for our failures and blaming others for our mistakes.
  • Teach your children the culture of self-criticism and acceptance of others.
  • Teach your children the culture of liberation from addressing mistakes by making some concessions and tolerance.
  • Teach your children the culture of freedom from the knot of position and money.
  • Teach your children the disadvantages of the culture of “a hundred eyes that shed tears, but my eyes do not shed tears.”
  • Teach your children the culture of group work.
  • Teach your child to be happy about the success of his siblings at home and his peers.
  • Teach your child to be jealous and not envious.
  • Teach your children that not everything that shines is gold.

Emotional intelligence is an acquired lifestyle

The counselor counsels both mother and father, saying: “Do not lie or exaggerate your achievements in front of your children and do not use cunning methods to solve problems, because the child reads his parents and learns from them, but be. be realistic and be a good example because reform starts with yourself and from home. ”

Both conclude: “Emotional intelligence is a learned and immeasurable way of life, but it depends on specific measurement indicators, such as psychological and physical health, and starts at home and then reinforced by a holistic educational system and method and participants (home, school and media).

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