Washington – For the first time, the mother is surprised on the threshold of her children’s adolescence with a line between hatred and emotional independence, as adolescents naturally tend to separate from their parents and seek psychological independence, while the mother has to adopt and deal with them so that Emotional Independence does not turn into hatred.
In the awareness process that helps teens determine when and how they will become adults, children are emotionally independent and psychologically and socially separated from their parents.
At that stage, hormones play a major role in the adolescent’s psychological, mood, and emotional state, friends become more important, and parental importance diminishes, the adolescent rebels against addiction, and strives to become a separate person from the people who control him. almost every aspect of his life so far, and his mother comes to the fore.
According to the Very Well Family website, when a teenager begins to separate from his mother, he begins to criticize her and determine which of her behaviors she likes and which she does not like.
Its good, according to psychologists, is that his critique, which can go as far as rudeness, can be interpreted and understood in the context of his discovery and his identity and the proof of his individuality.
Experts believe that it is normal for a teenage boy to disagree with what his mother does or thinks, but it is natural for him to behave as if his thoughts or actions are intolerable so that his identity is not intertwined with it. sajin.
Experts believe that guiding children does not mean controlling everything that belongs to them; someone who will replace him in everything. big and small thing.
A study conducted at Vanderbilt University confirmed that fathers and mothers who psychologically control their children create a negative product in the child, the most important of which is lack of self-confidence and lack of self-support. In a journal on special research in adolescence, he mentioned that giving a child – especially adolescents – independence could be a good thing to help him resolve his personal conflicts and relationships. In addition, this study found evidence that giving more independence can lead to an increase in adolescents’ ability to withstand peer pressure.
When parents take responsibility for disciplining the adolescent, they are committed to providing ongoing guidance, explaining the real reasons for family values pursued at home, leading to good behavior, instilling values, and providing ongoing feedback on how the adolescent is being disciplined. directs it. life in a balanced discussion, so that the adolescent knows that every issue is obligatory on him for his well-being and safety and is taken very seriously.
The image of the children’s relationship with the parents is formed according to the frameworks that define the parameters of this relationship in adolescence. Some male children tend to cling to the father without a father, or women tend to cling to the father.
Psychological experts believe that the daughter’s tendency towards the father in itself does not mean that she has positive advantages to the extent that she leaves her mother and tends to the father, but this is actually due to the lack of a warm security. with the mother compared to the father, as some mothers are very strong in relationships with girls, while with men it is more lenient and this can be for a number of reasons, among which the most important is the social preparation of the family, as families conservatives see that the more they define and marginalize the daughter, the more the son is dragged along, along with the mother’s psychological structure, and this structure controls the way the mother adopts her daughter, which makes the daughter think of the father, the who finds a warm embrace for what he wants or thinks, balancing between him and the mother. As for the son, we find out if he was alone in the family, as this constitutes an easy ground for the mother.
A number of families consider children in adolescence a source of family anxiety and tension and this often tends to health, but it should be borne in mind that adolescence problems are only related to the adolescence phase, so they do not last forever but disappear at the end of this periods and we need to learn how to deal with them, so that they pass in peace.
It is also necessary to know the difference between natural and abnormal behaviors of the individual, so there should be a cultural and educational awareness of the family, because the lack of this culture makes her feel very disturbed by the behavior of her teenage children. as the period of adolescence is one of the most delicate periods that a person goes through, which is associated with many changes Parents call it a problem.
The adolescent may get angry and upset and break something in front of him or hurt his siblings with words or beatings, so parents should intervene to resolve disputes between siblings and try to calm him down and keep him away from violence, and time His leisure can be busy with useful things like sports or some other activities that absorb his energy.
The adolescent lives a transitional phase in his life, which is accompanied by many external and internal obstacles and pressures, he goes through a state of fluctuation as a result of the appearance of side effects of the puberty process and accelerated physical growth, ie Appears a wide range of behaviors and behaviors that can be positive or negative depending on the developmental stages and aspects he is going through.
The adolescent suffers from internal or external conflicts that manifest in the form of rebellion and disobedience, and conflicts may result from his search for self-discipline and control and his need for independence, rebellion, and self-affirmation. Or the conflict to which he is exposed as a result of the various principles and values on which he grew up in childhood and the actions of adults around him that oppose them.
The adolescent at this stage also suffers from the problem of psychological incompatibility that is reflected in his behavior and behavior, so he is prone to introversion, despair, anxiety, sadness, and enters periods of depression and crying, in addition to boredom, constant. boredom and constant desire to sleep.