Talking to teens about dating violence – Yalla Match

Many on the internet, however, declared Depp the clear “winner” before the jury began the discussion, but details that emerged along with the public nature of the case led to mixed messages for teens and young adults as they watched it unfold on social media. .

I am concerned about internal messages that may result from a situation that has demonstrated relationship toxicity and normal violence within a relationship. As the issue centered around defamation lawsuits, shared (and shared and shared) content focused on an unstable relationship that was widely sensational on social media apps. It’s hard to pinpoint the nuances of regret from short, flattering layered clips.

Dating violence between teens and young adults is not uncommon. Statistics compiled by the Philadelphia Children’s Hospital show that 1 in 3 teens in the United States is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse by a dating partner. A study led by the Children’s Hospital on Intimate Partner Violence showed that abuse began to increase at age 13, showed a sharp increase between ages 15 and 17, and continued to rise between 18 and 22 years.
Adolescents and young adults need accurate information about developing healthy intimate relationships and how to get help if the relationship becomes aggressive or violent. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention characterizes adolescent dating violence as a negative childhood experience that can have short-term and long-term consequences, including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, suicidal ideation, and the risk of relationship problems. the future.
As a therapist, I hear a lot of normalizing language that blocks the identification of LGBT women and young people, jokes that push the boundaries and make young people feel uncomfortable, peer pressure for sex and intimacy, and relationship aggression that goes unchecked and unresolved.

Young people do not know how to handle complex relationships without the support and education to create healthy boundaries. Parents can take this opportunity to talk to their teens about dating violence and how to develop healthy dating relationships.

Create a safe space

Creating a safe space to talk to teens helps them understand the dynamics of what is going on in their daily lives outside the home. In fact, teens tell me they want to talk to adults, but worry about judgment and answers.

“Assessing their emotions is important because youth relationships can be extremely emotionally charged,” said Alison Trenk, a clinical social worker and relationship therapist working with teens and young adults. “They are trying to meet with only a few years of life experience.”

But do not start trying to solve their problems right away – Trink warns that if you switch to answer mode right away, it will end the conversation.

Parents can be a trusted resource for minors and teens to learn how to develop healthy dating relationships.

Parents become a trusted resource for their children when they slow down and take the time to listen and validate feelings, empathize with complex feelings, and share accurate information and resources to help their teens cope. “Evaluate strong feelings first so that you can talk about the nuances of intimate relationships,” Trenk said.

Talk about healthy relationships

It is a mistake to assume that teens know everything they need to know about developing healthy relationships by looking at role models. They need specific guidance.

Trink suggests encouraging teens to explore their values ​​and how they relate to relationships, “One of the questions you can ask is, how do you make a healthy connection that aligns with your values?”

Healthy relationships are built on trust, honesty and respect. Start with these values, but ask your teen to add them. Together, you can create a cloud of value words that, when used in intimate relationships, build strong bonds.

Recognize the warning signs

Relationships with teens can feel exciting and overwhelming. It is easy to get lost in happy moments, but to miss some of the early warning signs of anxiety in a relationship.

Jealousy and intense debates, controlling behavior, constant monitoring on Snap Maps or tracking apps, excessive communication, unwarranted criticism, and requests from a partner to keep secrets about behavior within a relationship are signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Examine issues related to power

“If teens try to bond, abuse of power will not help,” Trenk said. “Unequal distribution of energy leads to disconnection.”

2 facts and a lie about why you are dating your teen

Talk to your teens about the power differences that can occur in relationships. In a healthy relationship, power is evenly distributed. Each person retains their individuality and feels free to express themselves because their relationship is built on mutual respect. This is an example of positive power.

On the other hand, power differences can occur when one partner uses manipulation or force to take away power and control over the other relationship. This development can occur gradually in adolescent relationships.

Learn self-confidence skills

All teens need to learn how to set healthy boundaries and affirm their feelings and needs in a relationship. The boundary is a clear line that your teen draws to maintain a healthy relationship and can include physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and temporal boundaries. Help your teen understand healthy boundaries and how to communicate them with a partner.

Confirming boundaries can be challenging for teens, who often face pressure from a variety of sources. Practice at home by engaging in role-playing games with your teen or encourage your teen to practice in the mirror.

Get help

If you notice changes in your teen’s behavior, including changes in mood, eating and sleeping habits, academic difficulties, loss of interest in normal daily activities, avoiding friends, nervousness, or hyperactive behaviors, seek help from your teen. While honest and sincere communication expressed in supportive language is a great start, there is no need to deal with it yourself. A licensed mental health practitioner can help your teen and you in this difficult time.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, help is available at the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474.

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