The amount of emotional need varies from person to person, and there are those who have more needs than others, and it may be acceptable early in the relationship, but over time, strong emotional attachment can become a burden for the party. next, and push it away.
What does it mean to be connected to your partner? How do you organize your feelings and needs in order to have a healthy and happy relationship with your partner?
Health addiction and climbing
There is a healthy space to rely on a life partner and it is one of the goals of the relationship, to get psychological support from the other party when you are going through a difficult time and to feel safe and that he is near you . and wants you, and you do that too, and that mutual dependence is healthy.
As for capture, according to Psychology Today, it stems from a person’s emptiness and is related to a lack of self-confidence, so you feel incomplete if you are not sure you are close to your partner.
People with attached personalities tend to stay with the people they love, for support, security, protection and other needs. Climbing manifests itself in various forms in emotional relationships, such as:
- Call and text your partner several times during the day.
- In panic when he does not respond and constantly follows his activity on social networks.
- He feels threatened by his interactions with the opposite sex.
- The constant desire to be with your partner in all the activities you do.
- Spend less time with your friends.
- Constantly worry about your partner’s feelings for you.
Why do we cling to a life partner?
the need for protection
According to the Very Well Mind website, intense climbing stems from a sense of anxiety, fear, and need for protection, and a study cited that capture behavior and need for protection developed by humans thousands of years ago, during the evolutionary process , where vulnerable people instinctively sought to be accompanied by an adult Strong for protection.
getting caught up in anxiety
According to connection theory, your connection model is created during the first two years of your life. If you have safe and regular care, you are likely to develop a secure relationship, but if this care is unstable, sometimes you feel safe, but other times you feel neglected, you can develop an anxious relationship.
An anxiety-related style is often associated with climbing into romantic relationships, they constantly feel threatened that they will be abandoned and the attached person is constantly looking for the first signs that the other person is leaving them.
The attached person does everything he can to get emotionally close to his partner, but this attachment in return causes great pressure on the other party and can be a reason to end the relationship.
When you experience trauma from previous relationships, whether romantic or with friends, the effect of this damage can expand and make you very careful and anxious to repeat the experience again, and automatically do everything you can to make sure that you are in a good relationship. and that the relationship does not deviate from its course.
How to reduce your relationship with the other party?
It may seem hard to separate from the person you love the most, but there are simple changes you can make to help you avoid getting caught up in your relationship and feel more secure.
Admit that there is a problem
Climbing into relationships manifests itself in many ways in everyday interactions, so it is important to treat climbing to acknowledge that there is a problem and start by identifying your behaviors that need to be modified.
Put the other side in the picture
Once you acknowledge that you may have moved on after the relationship, talk to her about how you feel and what you want her to feel safe, to the extent that this does not put pressure on her, and you as a woman can ask your partner to send you a text message that he is busy and will call you back, otherwise he can answer your phone.
This conversation can help both partners understand the behaviors and feelings, and present what makes the relationship healthy and that no one feels threatened or trapped.
Modification of attachment style
Relationship anxiety comes from your childhood, so it has to do with learning to separate the past from the present, realizing that you are an adult and no longer a child who needs a caregiver to feel safe. and you can hire a therapist to learn how to develop a healthy bonding style.
Give yourself a chance
Catching up with a life partner and being preoccupied with him and your relationship most of the time can make you forget to take care and take care of yourself, and over time your feelings, interests, and desires relate primarily to your partner.
To facilitate this grasp, you need to devote most of that attention to yourself, rediscovering what you need to do, what books you want to read yourself, what skills you want to acquire, what you want to learn in your field. work and give yourself a chance to reconnect.
And when you feel the urge to be in touch with your partner, resist and focus on something else that you love and that works for you.
Rebuild your relationship
When you are in a relationship, you can feel like you are using all the feelings and energy for your partner and on your journey to learning to be less close, this is the perfect time to reconnect with your friends and spent more. time with your family.
This will not only strengthen your relationship with friends, but will also reflect on you and your emotional needs that you expected to be met by all of your partner, and make your relationship healthier.
Ask for help
Since climbing often stems from the anxiety and constant fear that those you love will abandon you or replace you with someone else, it can be stressful and very powerful to get organized by communicating with your friends and other advice, and for this reason you may need the help of a psychologist to help you manage your feelings of anxiety, Understand why you are so attached to people.