I have recently had a question about the relationship of love and sexual activity between a man and a woman ?! Is it right to call a young man charged with sexual energy, who instinctively tends to a girl – everywhere – that he fell in love with this girl ?!
Conservative social climate may have access to the use of language for a single metaphor that is dear to souls, as the title for this instinctive request, but the great difference between love with a broad concept and meaning, and the sacred meanings that it bears, and transient sexual desire, explains to us an aspect of an aggravating social crisis that is groaning in it. People have for years, divorce issues on the table, the spread of psychological complexes, depression and despair in a segment of young people, represent the other side of romantic relationships under the heading “love”.
Love in the time of speed
Perhaps there is a connection between the era of speed at work and production since the mid-fifties of last century, and the fall of man between the wheels of the market economy, and between easing the issue for this long-tired and exhausted person. working hours; Men and women, to find time to satisfy his sexual desire that guarantees the attainment of a state of psychological and physical relaxation – even for a few minutes – Those at the helm of the global economy understood the effects of tension on the hearts of workers and technicians , and all workers in factories, banks and trading companies due to the accumulation of work and strict obligations, which pushed them to open windows to change the atmosphere through an extensive campaign of literary publications; From magazines and newspapers, to stories and shows, as well as television and film productions, in addition to supporting concerts with outstanding media and advertising coverage, as well as creating space for prostitution to be a popular profession in some western cities, and then the enactment of laws that support abortion to make sexual freedom seamless in people’s lives.
In our Islamic countries, this solution found its place with astonishing speed in social life, with some differences, due to pressures of a different kind related to the congested political atmosphere, in addition to the existing economic and scientific backwardness. Correct sex in line with the system and provisions coming from heaven, which caused the spread of the phenomenon of contradictions and forbidden relationships between young men and women under the title “love”. The big and active role in igniting the fire of sexual instinct was due to TV series, movies and some intellectual and literary works. Stimulation, then the internet came to increase this role and increase the excitement intensely and without limit.
This unbridled excitement terribly threatened the meanings and connotations of love with its wide dimensions that include emotional relationships of a noble nature in the social environment, such as the mother’s relationship with her children, the husband’s relationship with the wife, the relationship. of a brother to his brother, and so on; All other friendly relations between individuals, then threatening the wider moral circle of the concept of love, in the marginalization of the friendly relations between man and his God, and between him and his righteous parents, between him and the Noble Qur’an, and between the system of values and principles, because love is limited only and only to the opposite sex that excites instinct, given that the Noble Qur’an, in its discourse of knowledge, emphasizes more than once in its noble verses on the status of love in achieving success in this world and success in the hereafter, and that one of the most important addresses of the believer is that he loves God and God loves him – may he be blessed and exalted.
Efforts have been made – and still are being made – to clarify the truth of the matter and that love is not only a legitimate right, but is a building factor for healthy social relationships, but requires patience and thought to get results, and how one of the shrewd friends said, that one of the arts of successful marital relations, opening a love account in a woman’s heart, charging her with what you can with generous attention, noble attitudes, praise and welcome, that will benefit. you in the following days when you are in financial or psychological difficulty, so the result of those positive attitudes will come to you with a balance that cleanses you of all worries and anxieties.
However, the problem of some is; Lack of reason versus transcendent lust and haste in making decisions with which they think they are doing well and there is no proof of what we say; Among the common relationships between young men and women in different countries, they say that it is about marriage with the slogan “love”, but the days and trials of money, prestige and great unrealistic promises, reveal what is hidden inside. souls.
To find a way out of the suicide, revenge and mental illness scenes, developmental psychologists and scientists set out to look for positive energy and possible alternatives. They advised women to be strong from time to time, and other times smart, in the endeavor. to alleviate the torturous pain of hearts because of the root causes of the problem that are rooted in the souls of some.
Recently an academic quest has emerged that puts this love on the mortuary table and reveals its truth, including what was thrown by the sociologist and professor at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem; Eva Iloz, and concluded in her book published in 2020 entitled “The end of love .. Sociology of negative relationships”, that the deviation of love, as a concept and practical application of its proper course, is due to the trend individual that. educated “consumer capitalism” that dominated the minds and pushed people to think for themselves.And with the opposite sex as a commodity in the market that can be exchanged. Later, this researcher put her hand on the wound, perhaps for the first time, when referring to the role of fashion and cosmetics and pornography production companies, to “transform desire into superficial performance” and then referred to the replacement of social values with “Consensus” and eventually reached the end result.In the profound negative impact of consensual relationships on a woman’s psyche, especially when she finds herself suddenly turned into a simple means of satisfying her husband’s desire while she tends and desires to create relationships based on personal appreciation ”, which is the false hope that has always played with the ears of girls and women during tours while walking in parks, restaurants and recently on social networks.
The mind is the beautiful frame of love
Attempts are still being made by scientists and researchers to address the negative effects of failed romantic relationships due to a misunderstanding of love, dominated by a “mechanical” character, so to speak, and superficial procedures based on actions and practices. certain, based on actions and adverse reactions, calculated from brain activities. The nervous system, even the new research that reveals the basis of the problem to which we have referred, remains only a diagnosis of the disease without radical solutions, while there are solutions that stem from the person’s self. giving him the opportunity to control and make the right decision, taking into account the expected results to avoid failure.
Scientists have written much about the necessity of appealing to reason as a great power bestowed by heaven that helps the human soul to discover the facts, and to the extent that this light exists, the person is safe from making a mistake, especially in relation to the concept of love and defining its relationship with sexual practice Scientists have based their research on the Qur’an. The Saint was inspired by the word “hwa”, which is missing in the mind of the human soul and casts it. owner in the depths of negligence and ignorance.Noble verses are clear in warning against passion, on the other hand. Invitation and encouragement to call the mind to contemplation, contemplation and calculation of results.
Important link to the success of the operation; Will, is what drives the judgment of the mind, or the bending of whims and desires, and we read this episode in the literature; “Freedom of choice” away from external obligations, social values or religious rules. If a person considers himself truly free and honest from the depths of his soul, he should be put to the test of questions about his motives for engaging in it. kind of love, and among these questions: Is it possible to look at other alternatives that correctly meet the sexual need? And of them also; “Do all people see the same as what I see? Let me put myself in their shoes and imagine if they really believe what I believed,” which is the same point at which psychologists and developers began focus these days and call for social. normative, in addition to normative value, and this helps itself Humanity stimulates the will to seek the best and best options to avoid harm.
Here we discover the fatal error of the former, that “the mind is nothing but a set of preliminary decisions, and that the soul is what thinks and imagines, and as long as man does not perceive all reality, then what motivates us to accept all reality, but we turn it back and say: What is not perceived does not exist, and I have included it. These philosophies are in a distant delusion that arose from neglect of the light of reason that exposed the soul and revealed its effects.
This is the approach followed in Western culture, even in the culture of materialistic civilization that is based on the aspect of emotion and anxiety in the human psyche, without seeing the bright aspects that lead the mind, not only to the right choice, and having a relationship romantic with the favorite girl towards marriage, family formation and reproduction -for example- and beyond; Refine the biggest concepts in life that have a way to achieve happiness like e.g. Sincerity, contentment, and confidence, which are all – and others – qualities and virtues, are the product of the power of patience and contemplation in the light of reason, including present and future reality.