Relaxing relationships and seeking security in liquid times

In a conversation that brought me together with a friend about the emotional relationships in our lives, he told me that he does not seek relationships that lead to a formal engagement (marriage), and that specifically at this period of his life he seeks an easy relationship without obligations, burden of responsibilities and without feelings of love or connection, but with the aim of reunion, fun and entertainment and the passing of pleasant moments for both parties. He assured me that the issue should be honest and consensual between the two parties, and the target partner should also know what the target relationship looks like.

This friend is not the only one who sets the quality and conditions for his emotional relationship, the listener of some stories from the ocean or even on social networks, realizes that the timing of relationships of a form, and a condition, necessarily aimed at Formal love and gradual connection disappear and are replaced by relationships with suitable conditions For both partners, it does not resemble the form we have known before and is firmly rooted in our subconscious.

Sociologist Sigmund Baumann tells us, in his book Liquid Love, within the flow chain, that relationships are no longer in the style of “our oath that only death will separate us” and that the consumer age in which man lives . is an abundance of products, their diversity, immediate and quick use, and even instant gratification. And magical results that do not require much time, apply to social relationships, including love.

Man is no longer looking for long-term relationships that require work and effort, but is gradually moving towards the ease and removal of all the burdens and responsibilities that come with it, or as Catherine Jarre calls it, “the upper pocket relationship: that aim at immediate consumption. without any effort and their immediate disposal as waste. ” .

Between relationships that do not last long and that do not allow a person to feel a sense of belonging or even love, according to the definition that people have gained over time and established by literature and the arts in the way they present The Issue, the dilemma of “Uncertainty”, which Baumann says applies to all aspects of modern human life. Questioner, there is no guarantee of relationship, nor of work or housing. Man in this age does not recognize “stability” because of rapidly changing market demands, with which many feel isolated and suspicious of being replaced by others, as well as the same feeling that fills relationships, a sense of threat and abandonment. as long as it exists. is an alternative and abundant, relying on what Baumann describes as “Let’s try and see what happens.” “.

Most of the problems raised today at the relationship level, are mainly due to feelings of insecurity and the threat of abandonment and abandonment, as a result of the same pattern of relationships in this era, and sometimes from other traumas known to the person during childhood. or from previous relationships, as Maya (28 years old) says Most of the emotional relationships I have experienced have been compared or declared inadequate, which is the same reason that has caused her a sense of insecurity and on the basis of which she has decided to end it. him. Mary, on the other hand, rejected transient relationships (upper pocket relationships), in which the other party can accept from the beginning, or discover through his treatment that she lives in a relationship that has no intention of continuity on the part of the partner, whom she describes as exhaustion and waste of time. Maybe that’s what gave her the experience to identify the type of relationship she wants and talk about it in any new relationship project. Here we do not necessarily mean that the woman is the partner who is exposed to this feeling, as it is possible and in fact happens for both genders.

Man is no longer looking for long-term relationships that require work and effort, but is gradually moving towards the ease and removal of all the burdens and responsibilities that come with it, or as Catherine Jarre calls it, “the upper pocket relationship: that aim at instant consumption. . ”

This move, which he knew about the form of relationships and the problems that resulted from it, made psychologists focus on providing interpretations and advice about them, starting with defining the purpose of his entry into the relationship, defining love for and what it specifically requires from the partner, to prevent any confusion and differences that may not appear at first, but may be the cause for one of the partners being injured and suffering.

Here we return to the question that has become common: What is love? Which specialists stand by, emphasizing the purification of what the subconscious has gained through songs, movies, arts, and literature in general, noting that true love is painless and bond-free, and in which both partners maintain individuality and their personal space, abolishing the idea of ​​cohesion and dissolution in the partner, which has dominated man for centuries as a form of love. Even the common purpose of the relationship, namely marriage and the birth of children, was separated from the conditions of love and it became necessary for man to know the purpose of the relationship according to his desire. Many have become conscious of creating a relationship of their own that is also in line with the times, or on their way to it.

The spread of public relations awareness grows and becomes clear. Once you read posts on social networks, about non-specialists, sharing their experiences, or those around them, they do not hesitate to use them correctly. scientific designations such as “toxic relationship”, “addictive relationship”.

Even the term “Red flags”, which has reached its peak recently, meaning the sign that you are with the wrong partner, has become popular. Many were able to share their personal experiences and opinions, at a time when the quality one person seeks in their partner may be completely excluded from another.

Most of the problems raised today at the relationship level are mainly due to feelings of insecurity and the threat of abandonment and abandonment, as a result of the same pattern of relationships in this era, and sometimes from trauma, or from previous relationships.

The use of terms has become clear and wide, and anyone, regardless of their background, can use them and explain what happens in relationships even through them, and perhaps this is the same reason why dialogues and even the scripts in the artwork tend to be straightforward. and sincerity, which is reprehensible to many, the time of metaphors and understanding between the lines is over. . Everyone is currently calling for simplification and clarification of how they feel, without any embellishment to express themselves with relatives, including partner, to prevent any misunderstanding, or lack of understanding. For example, the heroine’s daughter, Ola, appears in the series “Search for Ola”, which tells her that this relationship is toxic. A teenage girl could name and categorize a relationship to her mother’s surprise, which was not the case in previous generations, at least.

People try to gain an understanding and awareness of the nature of personalities and relationships after each experience they go through, and this is what Baumann explains that falling in love becomes a skill that one learns and the more experience one has, and the accumulation of experience . , the better necessarily becomes any future experience. Modern man continues to reduce the possession of things with his will or even without it, the rhythm of times and his demands impose his conditions, as Richard Baxter, the cleansing missionary, said of them: “They must fall easily so that they can to be easily thrown away at any moment ”and this is exactly what happens with His emotional and social relationships.

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