We can all make friends, but what we need in our lives are “good friends”, allies in life we can trust, who support us in bad moments and enjoy the good moments with us.
If there’s one thing most of us know, it is that meeting new people is relatively easy, however, building the socially enriching bonds that actually accompany us through the ups and downs of life is more complicated, says nos pensees magazine. .
The magazine report noted that looking back and remembering the first days of school, we will understand the complexity and interplay of human relationships.
Individuals bring with them their own personality type and circumstances that make it difficult or easy to establish satisfying and lasting relationships.
Likewise, factors such as the social context can affect us.
The report explained that a few decades ago you had to leave home to socialize and make friends, but today new technologies have made our lives more comfortable and flexible, so much so that it is very easy to find people who share our values. , and this participation is definitely beneficial for us.
A report from the journal Publishing psychology, neuroscience, personal development, culture, and well-being found that making friends improves physical and mental health and contributes to longevity.
“Why not say it gives us more happiness?” She added. Building enriching alliances and being close to the people we trust, laugh and cry and discover new things with which we all deserve it. “Let’s see how we get there.”
The magazine report quoted Socrates as saying, “Be slow in making friends, but when you do, hold on to them.”
How to make good friends?
Researchers say that it is often said that it is much easier to make friends when you are young, and yet there is an undeniable truth: when we are young we act spontaneously and do not put filters, we make room in our lives for everything. wants to pass it.
But as we grow older, realizing the importance of being selective in the world of complex social relationships, not everyone is necessarily on our side.
Writer CS Lewis said: “What draws each other to be friends is to share the same truth. This is one of the most crucial keys, namely finding people with whom we agree on the same values. Likewise a Another essential aspect is daily practice.For trust, commitment and emotional exchange that validates and enriches all connections.
In fact, there is a secret to knowing how to make good friends.
According to the study, there are some strategies that you should be aware of. Psychology has spent decades trying to discover skills or techniques that allow us to build strong and happy relationships.
Participating in tastes and hobbies
Scientists define “similarity attraction” by saying, “It is the closeness we feel to people with whom we share similar tastes.”
And the magazine cited a study conducted in 1966, which highlighted this factor, in other words, if there is an essential dimension when communicating with someone is that you have common values and feelings, because similarities are the cement that unites us . We will evaluate the other dimensions later.
“The advantage is that we live in a world where new technologies allow us to segment or (categorize) people and connect with those we care about.”
We can use tech apps to make friends, join social networking sites like Instagram or Facebook, or sign up for the places, lessons or sports we want to meet people.
Listen, understand and discover the other
It is necessary to listen to understand. Ask to know how someone acts and thinks.
In these early stages of building a good friendship, it is necessary to discover this person little by little. Such a thing should be achieved with sincerity, closeness and sensitivity and with a positive attitude.
No one benefits by behaving suspiciously, or questioning what we are told. Nor does it matter if we carry behind us a history of betrayal and disappointment.
One of the secrets to knowing how to make good friends is to stimulate positive emotional climbing.
Conveying positivity, fun humor and enthusiasm will allow us to get the best out of the other and leave an impression.
A survey conducted by scientists Eileen Hatfield and John T. Cassiobo, and Richard L. Rapson, emphasizes the importance of this dimension: (Transmitting feelings of positive valence unites us).
Sharing personal information
An effective way to make friends is also helpful in evaluating someone’s performance.
Sharing small secrets and private aspects makes it easier to separate and test your trust.
And let’s be clear, if we can not trust someone, this relationship will not bring us much in terms of friendship.
Moreover, not only is it advisable to share personal information with another, but it is also necessary for that person to be open to us. Every friendship should be designed as a safe, warm, and trusting place between people.
Frequent contact and concern for others
We need to give our friends what we expect of them.
And the thing we all need and deserve is attention, care and concern for what happens to us. Because everything that is valued arouses our interest and preoccupation.
Thus, everyone who lives in our hearts deserves this daily attention that does not attack them, but knows how to be present.
Thus, if we are wondering how to make good friends, let us remember this aspect. Let us maintain constant contact, show concern for their condition, and do so with respect.
Support and joy
Good friends are not there just to have fun, to go out to dinner, and to have fun.
True friendship is present in difficult times and is happy when the other person succeeds in life.
So if we want to build semantic connections, let’s do it.
Let us be able to provide support when needed and rejoice in this person’s happiness and accomplishments.
And it is clear under the law of reciprocity that they should do the same to us.
And good friends rejoice in our happiness and success. They do this without showing envy because their feelings are real.
According to the same report, another interesting strategy is to learn how to make good friends, as it is magical to live new things with these people and give them emotional treasures and lasting memories.
Taking small challenges and adventures, sharing anecdotes, celebrations and shared stories creates special bonds that last over time.
For this reason, the magazine said: “It is always rewarding and enriching to travel with these new friends. And also the courage to do new things with them. ”
At the end of the report, the magazine noted that, contrary to what we are used to believing, good friendships are not ready: they are working. This task is reciprocal and this daily exercise is always exciting.