Love does not mean permanent romance .. there are toxic thoughts that can destroy the strongest emotional relationships
It has never happened that people agree on a single love formula, or set specific rules for it. Every relationship is unique and every person experiences love in a different way and treats it according to their culture.
But it remains true that love means that another person makes you fly and shine and feel happiness and inner peace, and that love should make you feel comfortable, strong and brave and boost your self-confidence your. The basis of any relationship is trust and respect, and it does not exist in the absence of one or both.
Because many common misconceptions about love take on a romantic connotation, in fact they “can be very toxic,” says Margarida Viet, a family therapist at the University of Seville. Below we will examine 20 of the most common misconceptions.
1. Love at first sight
What happens at first glance may simply be fascination or admiration. As for love, it is a mutual feeling that requires time, hard work, acceptance and harmony, and “originates from mutual appreciation and trust.”
2. Being jealous means you are crazy about me
Crazy jealousy is not love, but it can be a sign of a manic disorder that needs help, “revealing a deep sense of insecurity and low self-esteem,” according to the specialist.
3. After I won you I became mine
People are not wealth, and no one likes to be owned, this is called “obsessive love”. And the feeling of winning towards your partner should continue with every daily outing without even thinking of owning it.
4. You do not love me because you did not call me
Lack of contact does not necessarily mean that the other is not interested, love deepens by knowing and discovering the other person over time, not just through contact.
5. My other half is somewhere
Do not live waiting for something, be complete already, you do not need to wait for someone else to feel complete.
6. Love means doing everything together
Sure, doing activities together is great, but loving someone is giving them the freedom to live their lives and do things alone or with their family or friends. Everyone needs individuality sometimes.
7. How can you claim my love and not always be with me?
If someone really loves another person, he will find time to be with him even if he is busy, but no one is available all the time.
8 .. you criticize me and blame me
A distorted idea of love is that it forbids criticism or blame, but constant flattery and twisting certainly do no good.
9. Do whatever I say if you love me
Loving another person does not make him obedient to you. Yes, he can respect your wishes, needs and priorities, but without sacrificing his interests, dreams and goals as well.
10. Love means that there are no differences
Having differences between you and your loved one is healthy, as you both learn to respect each other’s personality, but “when differences affect principles, values and lifestyles, it can be difficult to maintain the relationship.”
11. It is possible to love without faith
The foundation of a healthy relationship is honesty, respect and trust. Viet claims that “if you can not trust the other person, you can never love him and give yourself and your life.”
12. To fight means we do not like
Life is not without controversy, especially when feelings intensify, but it is important to try to stay calm and listen to the other person’s point of view, to avoid quarrels.
13. Our love never changes
Love is changeable like everything in life “if it is healthy and well nourished, it will grow and become stronger over time, even if it goes through a few twists”.
14. Not to express fear of losing it
“Love requires transparency, truth, respect and dignity.” If you hide aspects of your personality to prevent hurting or intimidating the other party, life will turn into a prison, not love.
15. Love means suffering
Human relationships are like life, not without difficult moments, but love did not exist for the sake of torture and suffering, on the contrary, “You should never feel that love is a permanent burden on you.”
16. We are not good together as a couple
If spouses do not feel that they belong to each other and continue to struggle to save their relationship, instead of spending a happy time together, “love most likely will not return and lack of love will only to increase the distance between them “.
17. Engagement is enough to be happy
There are millions of people in the world who are connected, but they do not feel love or happiness “in many cases we find people who are connected simply because they are afraid of being alone”.
18. The desire for stability forces you to keep going
Fear of the unknown, guilt, worry about what others will say, believing that lack of love is not one reason enough to end the experience, and feelings of insecurity about the future are all reasons why we do not have the courage to end it. a bad relationship and our ongoing losses can be even greater.
19. I have to push myself to save the relationship
It will not be beneficial for someone to give more than his energy, on the contrary, it can lead to an imbalance in the relationship and increase the discrepancy in love and giving, and it becomes difficult to save the relationship.
20. One-sided love
A healthy relationship requires that both parties love each other equally and the love that we do not feel or that the other does not feel, can not be exchanged. According to the Viet family specialist.