In relationships, what do we seek, love or security?

Rasha Kanakriya

Aman – “Security is higher than love, so never approach when you are impressed, approach only when you are calm.” Probably most of us are on a journey in search of security in all the forms of human relationships we go through. it is not measured with love as much as it is measured with certainty. Someone is against himself in all your situations, with his joy and sorrow .. with his flaws and good deeds, even for those things that you are afraid to say to yourself.
If you find this inner security, keep it, it is the real difference in all our human relationships, as many relationships end due to lack of security in them.
This ended Noah’s marriage, despite the great love he had for her husband, but the lack of a sense of security in their relationship made him end it.
Noah describes her life, saying, “He always wanted to change my behavior, my words, even the way I dress, and he understood my words in a way other than their meaning.” All of these actions created feelings of fear and dread. not accepting her personality and interests.
Noah began to think about every action before he did it, for fear of being misunderstood, which showed that the loss of security in the marriage made him lose a lot of comfort and made him feel unstable.
She says: “The existence of love and money without security and attention is meaningless … There are things offered in life for free.”
Mona in her twenties understands the importance of having security in every relationship she goes through in her life, so she has always looked for it and found it in her friend Hanan, who listens to it with passion and always stays close to her.
She adds: “When I feel lost, I go to talk to her to restore balance in my thoughts, how wonderful it is that she awaits me with all my ups and downs.”
The sense of security that Mona experienced in this friendship gave her psychological stability and comfort because she is someone who listens to her and feels her joy and sadness and gives her energy to move on with her life.
Sociologist, Dr. Muhammad Jeribaa, shows that the feeling of security is a prerequisite for building any relationship and its success, and many people, especially women, consider love as security because love is “security and care”.
Jeribei explains that man by nature feels fear, especially of the unknown and the future, so he is always looking for security and many people also give security to feelings of love, although not separated from love, as the person who is able to gives love is able to give security and vice versa.
In case of loss of security, love will not last and Grebeh explains that a person feels safe when he feels trust in the other party and it is what generates security.
“A person who has responsibility and has loyalty and honesty can be difficult to find”, so if you find a person with these qualities, you should stick to him, as he is the best friend and companion in life .
Juribai ’emphasizes that the existence of this feeling in our society is reflected in the construction of correct social relations, as the manifestations of falsehood and betrayal are reduced, families and society are established, the education and creation of the new generation is based on security, producing a strong society far feelings of fear, hatred and malice, in addition to forming cohesive families and human and marital relationships based on love and understanding.
Unfortunately, in Arab societies, some houses are made only of stones that lack the feeling of peace and tranquility inside, and this is what makes us seek security, so each of us must have a deep and correct thought about define and define the meaning of love, as they are two words “security and attention” because love without them is not Sincerely, according to Jerebay.
Psychologist Dr. Ali Al-Ghaz says that the concept of love varies from one person to another and that the nature of relationships between individuals stems from love, familiarity and closeness to thought, feelings and cultures, and that is what makes them feel safe. .
And the invasion continues, that a sense of security is required, even if it varies from person to person, and what reveals its presence are situations, “the more the relationship is based on sincerity and honesty, the more love and security there will be. “. The feeling of fear on both sides, and their thought becomes what will happen to us in a moment.
Invasion confirms that a sense of security is essential to our human relationships, but unfortunately many people neglect it, so we notice that honesty in relationships no longer exists and trust is somewhat lost, and when someone asks, “Does anyone have whom do you trust? ” The question is difficult to answer and confusing for some, and this is due to the loss of security as a result of certain behaviors or behaviors.
The invasion shows that people are divided into two groups; The first loves and then seeks security and the second does not approach and does not start any relationship before it feels safe and if the security element is available, the chances of its success and continuity are greater than the first team.
Invasion shows that many relationships fail as one party discovers in certain situations that he does not feel safe and that he has bad intentions from some people towards the other person, and it is correct to seek a relationship that contains security beforehand. love, and here it is clearer and healthier.
The invasion continued, that lack of security has negative aspects in our lives. If the boy does not feel safe within the family and does not find the warm embrace he contains, he will head to seek security on other holidays, but it may be a relationship vague, which means that he can go from a bad situation to a worse one, therefore, a person should think well before doing so, as the intentions of the people are not known.
Invasion shows that when we seek security in different environments, it is necessary to know people and how to deal with them, and how much trust we can give them and live with them so as not to fall into the things that bring us. negative, we do not want to treat one problem with another.
Invasion shows that if the quest for security becomes an escape from one place to another, and he discovers that he has made a mistake, it will negatively reflect on his psyche and he may live in a state of depression and loss of confidence in others. , and he can use introversion and feel a bad psychological state as a result of this mistakes he went through and lack of sense of security in his life.
Invasion confirms that when you find a sense of security in a person, he becomes a “reference”, as he helps you in many things, solve problems, talk and exchange thoughts, ideas and advice.
This requires a conscious person, a yoke of thought, who chooses the people around whom he feels safe and these become “our shelters”, according to the occupation.
Invasion defines security as the feeling of an atmosphere of honesty and sincerity in human relations, and is based on honesty between two parties and trust based on the exchange of positive things that bring a positive thing to a person and make him feel. happy and comfortable in his life.
On the educational side, Dr. Ayesh Nawaisa explains that man is the son of his environment, which means that a person who has grown up in an environment whose consequences are positive in everything that this word implies, is reflected in his behavior and in his personality. He comes out in the same image with an integrated personality and thus, as he felt confident, will introduce himself to others.
And Nawaiseh continued, “The opposite is true. A person who has grown up in a negative environment does not feel safe within his family. He has a lot of problems and disagreements and we often hear about some wrong behaviors as a result of lack of security. , and this is a kind of reflection. “
Nawaisa explains that security is a great concept and is not limited to love and affection, as it exists in all forms, and is represented in the friendly relations between father, mother and children, parental communication with children, communication between students and teachers and between the supervisor. , and this is a kind of assurance that one must feel to appreciate that He gives to someone else, because “he who lacks something does not give it to him”.
Nawaisa emphasizes that if a person does not discover this feeling, does not feel it, does not live it and is not part of his personality, he can not introduce it to others in the future.
He points out that high divorce rates, family breakdowns and unfriendly relationships between spouses are all issues that are mainly caused by insecurity, except for emotional dryness, which is a kind of insecurity.
Nawaiseh emphasizes that if the wife or husband does not worry about social issues and formalities, but seeks a very great interest, love, affection and serenity, and all this falls within the realm of security.
Nawaisa adds that this security is reflected in children and later in their future and that this group of families is reflected in the whole society, therefore it feels positive in all its human social relations.
On the other hand, Nawaiseh explains that part of our big problems is the loss of emotional, psychological and social security. These three elements are very closely interrelated and are reflected in the child’s personality and thus his personality is formed if he lives it. positively and is confident and in the future he lives it with his wife, children and family.
He added: “On the issue of parental relationships, ‘as you punish them’, as you treat your children, they will treat you in the future, and this is reflected in the image of your existing behaviors.

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