At first we love our parents, find ourselves surrounded by them, get to know them, and cling to them. In some moments of separation from them, the pain of separation stabs us like a sharp knife and leaves us with deep wounds in the soul, from which we can heal over time, but we never forget them. It is not easy to accept the rupture of the umbilical cord that connects us to them. Going to school for the first time was killer for our emotions, so the early trip to a space without parents, was the first training to face the difficulties of the following divisions, the ones that life will impose on us, and they are. inevitable no matter how hard we try to stick to who and what we want.
This world frees us from those we have long thought were part of us, or a part of our soul, and removes us from them as we strive with all our might to maintain the fine line between us and them. We always find something that keeps us in touch with them, until that thread is cut forever. We have all been through the stages of writing letters to loved ones from family and friends. We wrote many of those letters, which carried our longing, tears, and soul. We often used paper towels to convey our kisses, even if they were not visible, and we often smelled them, hoping to smell what was left of our beloved fingers touching them. We did this for a long time and probably thought that longing would accompany its deep places in the heart and nothing would ever change our system of feelings with which it betrayed all expectations. The letter also betrayed us. Who writes letters today except the institutions and banks that send us the bills at the end of the month? It is the other in the inevitable end.
Differences also betrayed us and made love seem faded by the power of bad thoughts. Love is lost in the face of fabricated gossip, or a simple political or religious difference, and collapses completely before the intersections of faith, thought, and ideology. Thus our feelings are violated until we find ourselves building walls between ourselves and those with whom we once had a heart. Where does love go, we ask ourselves, after the atmosphere in our common heavens, which witnessed the previous joys, the fermentations and stops that beautiful rhythm? Who knows a good answer? Let the sick find a cure for the disease of separation, the anxiety of longing, and the burning of a coal that refuses to be cold. Relationships end like everything else, they die after a long or short life, and if they remain steadfast in the heart, until one goes out and ends.
If we want to classify relationships according to the data of interest, companionship and love, we will find that they are multiple in a way that we find difficult to resolve, connecting us to the other. We read about the degrees of love according to the ancient Arabs, it was said to be twelve degrees, it was also said to be ten or seven degrees. Everyone has worked hard according to their linguistic understanding of the subject, even though to me it is purely psychological. And perhaps what we like about these divisions and scales is abundance and change. When we fall in love, we do not know if what we are feeling is passion, love, or finding, or passion or something else. Human psychology is as complex as his body, so we often make mistakes and do not distinguish between love and admiration, or between love and lust, or even between friendship and society.
Literature deals with relationships, as well as drama and cinema, and they were all good ways to teach us what we do not know, and then a whole sector flourished that was interested in clarifying the quality of relationships and ways to build them.
Unfortunately, we do not have a scale, or a scale, or a machine that measures our feelings and puts them in the right box, but perhaps to slow down the function of the scales is to make them clear, down to the veil of mystery. it is revealed to them, if slowness is enough, because without going through the experience of direct contact with the other, it becomes useless, the benefit, and will not achieve any desired result.
Literature deals with relationships, as well as drama and cinema, and they were all good ways to teach us what we do not know, and then a whole sector flourished that was interested in clarifying the quality of relationships and ways to build them. Yet there is something that confuses us and makes us fall into the same taboo many times when we fail in some of our friendships, companionship and partnership. We are confused when we give without account, when we believe blindly, when we expect only love as a reward and receive only insufficient premiums to cover what little we have given. Disappointment and shock raise the horror of a sudden emotional event to draw us to the worst places in ourselves.
However, there is no need to exaggerate, because each person has a unique experience, even if we absorb the similarity between us and what Isabel Allende has written about herself and the personalities taken from her family, or between what Chekhov or Dostoevsky wrote, or Gibran Khalil. Gibran, or many other works, explained the human soul and revealed its secrets to the reader, like most classic Russian novels and Latin American literature, warning us early on that feelings are dangerous and we must be careful not to get carried away. . of them, or to waste them all at once for a single person, or to save them to the point of stinginess, or to believe in its permanence, while it is what changes most of us with the days.
I want to say that my victory for love does not mean that the tricks of life will stop, or that they will reward us with what we deserve, are deceptive and change like the seasons, with stormy rains and hilarious laughter and if times us do similar, other times have made us different, always reminding us that we were created from the same mud and that is why one of the stories that sank into the depths of this man can be a bandage for us. our wounds and vicissitudes.
What I also want to understand is that feelings grow like us and like all living things on this planet, reach a certain age and die? Through my personal experience, I stopped several times before relationships that arose in a storm of sympathy or admiration, and grew in a way that surprised me, some of them turned into a harmful tree in my life and almost swallowed everything beautiful inside . me and some of them withered and died after a short life, and others bore fruit and adorned me with an unrequited love.It is still expanding and attracting beautiful people with the days that add to my confidence and gratitude. And that’s not all. As for me, I too find myself in emotional fluctuations towards some, fearing that I will fail with them and with those who do not stop giving in a way that exceeds my ability to absorb and given. Is not love an equation in which two parties are equal? Why do we sometimes fail to be fair and equal to our beloved party, and what prevents us from giving full love to those who are committed to our love? Why do we sometimes go with all our might in the wrong direction, with the speed of the collision that inevitably breaks us?
Psychology says, that our minds are equipped for love and to repair the ruptures that occur in the event of its completion, and it is strange that I read an interview of a researcher in St. Louis. In other words, the brain circuits that define emotional relationships. are the same as those related to addictive behaviors, so to overcome any breakup, steps must be taken to overcome drug addiction.
I do not know now, do readers agree with me that the daily dose of love we need should be too small to not reach the stage of addiction, in anticipation of some emergency separation that may turn our lives into hell? And if the answer is yes, how do we heal our childhood love for our fathers and brothers when they suddenly leave this world? We thought for a long time that it was a small love and never reached the extent of the love and affection that people outside the family space enjoyed. Here we are again faced with another difficult question, which requires a lot of research and I do not know if we will find a satisfactory answer to it.
Poet and journalist from Bahrain